Beyond Nabal. Beholding David | Abigail’s preparative posture!

“When Abigail saw David, she hurriedly got down from the donkey and fell before David upon her face. And she bowed herself to the ground.”
‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭25‬:‭23‬ ‭MEV‬‬

Main Reading: 1 Samuel 25
Sub Reading; Ephesians 5:22-25

Christian marriage is not easy! Warring against self/flesh never is! Compound that with satan’s all-out war against God’s s divine purpose in marriage and we have the recipe for an inglorious Christ-defaming union.

Yet God does not leave us stranded, biblical examples and instructions show us the true path to hitting the mark of the high calling that is in Christian marriage.

Abigail’s preparative posture in her unpleasant marital union to Nabal offers eternally beneficial nuggets.

Out with the Old, In with the New?

One hard lesson from the story of Abigail’s union is that Nabal may never change! His likelihood to change is primarily dependent on his personal response to Christ’s dealings in his life. Christ aims to get the ‘new wine’ into Nabal, but Nabal’s grip on the old wine may never be relinquished!

Abigail never deceived herself into thinking she could ever make him change – either by force of will, attitudinal stance, or carnal strength. This is fruitless. The change Nabal needs can only come from within – a place where only Christ can reach him.

Over the years. We’ve seen peculiar cases where ‘strong’ spouses have prided themselves on ‘bending’ their partner by sheer force of will or carnal ‘dealings’ [as Jezebel to Ahab], Yet the end always reveals the ‘bent spouse’ having been contorted into a caricature incompatible with God’s intended image, distorting rather than reflecting the glory of God!

What Christian Marriage Actually Is!

Christian marriage is meant to be a physical model of Christ’s relationship with the church. From reading Christ’s letters to the 7 churches in revelation [or of Gods marriage to Isreal in the old testament] it is clear that the relationship has not always been blissful!

However what is most evident is that God being party to the marriage, always stays faithful; unconditionally loving; abundantly merciful; exceedingly gracious; & yet uncompromisingly Righteous & Holy.

Christian marriage is NOT a Disney fairytale in that your happiness in marriage is God’s primary objective! No! Rather it is a platform of conformation for both partners designed to aid them in preparing for closer union with Christ.

Must conformation always be painful?

Whilst one marriage is an anvil, another marriage is a potters spindle. It all depends whether the Lord is working with Clay or Iron. (which material did you choose in the beginning as your preferred tool (spouse) of molding?)

Irrespective of your choice, Christian marriage provides the avenue for you to grow in service, yielded-ness, unconditional love and patience! It offers the most intimate level of discipleship! Your spouse being your chosen tool of breaking & the home environment which you create being the workman’s table! [note: The Lord always works within the context of your free will choice from the beginning]

Beyond Nabal, Beholding David!

Apostle Paul actually says this to us in Ephesians but we too easily miss the full context

Wives, be submissive to your own husbands as unto the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it,”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭22‬, ‭25‬ ‭MEV‬‬

Even if you are married to a Nabal, Apostle Paul says the right perspective to have is to marry the Nabal physically in front of you [however underserving he/she is] as though He were David. Love him, Honor him, Serve him daily as unto the Lord – for in so doing, you will be building for yourself a storehouse ^{1 Sam 25:18} as rich and diverse as Abigail’s s whilst also cleansing your wedding garment from spot and wrinkle ^{Eph 5:27} for the occasion when you will eventually meet David. a bride to be.

Your Focus Impacts your Joy!

A large bulk of unhappiness in Christian marital union can be attributed to a lack of proper perspective! ^{Hosea 4:6}

All too often instead of focusing on Jesus:-

• We focus on our marital ‘situation’, especially what is lacking or lagging.
• We focus on our spouse and where they are not meeting up to expectations.
• We focus on other peoples marriages, making comparisons that may not be reflective of their true state
• We focus on ‘what could have been’, imagining our life with exe’s and past flames whom we assume we would have fared better with.

These 4 dimensions of our focus CAN NEVER get us closer to the mark of the high calling in marriage as Christ intended it to be!

In the midst of your hardship you will get many suggestions: ‘find your own happiness’ ‘focus on yourself’ ‘there’s plenty fish in the sea’ ‘go after your own goals’ ‘you owe yourself happiness’. You can do all of this and still miss out on the primary thing – getting ready for the coming of David.

Conclusion

Your meeting with David [Christ] is inevitable at a time unexpected & unknown! However choose to see the unpleasant marital situation before you as an opportunity not to change your spouse but to be changed and stretched by the Lord. Good may yet come from Bad and Victory from Failure.

Maybe your Nabal will change, maybe not. That is between him/her and the Lord. You must not miss the righteous purpose of God for you in this season (of your marriage) which is “how is God using this season to prepare me for meeting David?”

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[Kingdom Women Series]